worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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