go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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