You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
