I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he thought i was a dude.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
