rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm at about main and main street
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
