My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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