My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
