you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
