It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
