he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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