my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We don't watch enough power rangers
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
