Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
