There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
