I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
