I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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