He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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