This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
