You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
