i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dignity is for republicans.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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