if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
