You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
