Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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