My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
