remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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