I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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