question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I need a beard to bite.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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