I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
