Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
