I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
