I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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