what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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