Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
