Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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