I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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