Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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