my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
