i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
