woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
