Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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