thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
