Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I love having hate sex.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
