but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
