Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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