We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
