it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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