So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
