He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
