The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
