so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
