Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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