making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
