so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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