I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
