that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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