I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
