Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
