there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I forgot how hot balto sounded
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
