The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
