Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I didn't notice because vodka
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
