that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
