apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
