I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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