My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
