I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
