i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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