We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
