Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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