so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
