his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We were destined to go to rehab together
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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